Is It Ok to Be Awkwardly Funny
A Proctology exam.
A man is sitting over the counter with his pants down at the doctors office.
The doctor comes in and sits down and starts working the gloves onto his hands.
Alright Brian, it's your first proctology exam, just sit back, relax, and try not to get an erection the doctor says.
The patient awkwardly looks back and says but my names Dan.
Doctor responds oh I know, my names Brian.
A Buddhist monk walks up to a hot dog vendor and says: 'Make me one with everything'....
After a brief chuckle at the monks joke the vendor hands him his hot dog with everything and says 'That'll be $4 please'.
The monk hands over a $10 bill and waits whilst the vendor just stares back at him....
Awkwardly the monk ask's 'What about my change'?.
'Ah' replies the hot dog vendor, 'Change must come from within'.
An elephant is standing on a street corner with an erection.
His thing is HUGE, hangs all the way to the ground.
At that moment a mother is taking her son to school and the son looks at the elephant and says "Mommy what is that?"
Mom: "Oh that's the trunk honey"
Kid: "No mom, further back between the legs"
Mom: "Oh that? That's nothing...." and awkwardly changes the subject.
The next day, same elephant in the same condition is on the corner only this time the dad is taking the kid to school.
Kid: "Hey dad, what is that? It's not the the trunk and it's not the legs, it's in between the legs. Mommy says that's nothing."
The dad thinks for a second and then laughs, "Yeah well, mommy is spoiled."
The Mystery of Childbirth
A boy is writing a paper on childbirth and asks his parents, "How was I born?"
His mother awkwardly answers, "The stork brought you."
"Oh," says the boy. "Well, how were you and Daddy born?"
"Oh, the stork brought us, too, and Grandpa and Grandma."
The boy begins his paper, "This report has been very difficult to write due to the fact that there hasn't been a natural childbirth in my family for three generations."
An American walks into an Irish pub
An Irishman yells, "Oi, Yank! Are you Catholic or are you Protestant?"
"Err... I'm atheist," the tourist says awkwardly.
"Ahh, but which one don't you believe in?"
A Jehovah's Witness Came By Yesterday
A Jehovah's Witnesses knocked on my door yesterday, so I answered it and asked if he wanted to come in he said, "Yeah, okay."
I said I've put on a pot of coffee, do you want some? He said, "Yeah, sure."
I said I've just made some toast do you want a slice? He said, "Yeah, why not."
I then motioned toward the kitchen table and we both sat down. We sat and looked at each other awkwardly for a moment. Then I asked him, "So what now?" He said, "I don't know I've never got this far before..."
Bedroom animals
A pair of newlyweds are out for drinks with a middle-aged couple who have been married for twenty years.
Having knocked back a few, the older husband turns to the newlyweds and remarks with a wink: "I bet you two are like a couple of rabbits in the bedroom."
The newlyweds laugh awkwardly at this, and then the young husband asks "Well, what kind of bedroom animals are you two then?"
The older husband screws up his face and thinks about it for a moment, then exclaims wryly: "Don't know about me, but Margaret here would have to be a camel: she can go for weeks and weeks without sex."
Without missing a beat, Margaret replies: "That's funny because I was thinking George here would also be a camel: two humps and it's over."
A Pharmacist goes out for lunch
A pharmacist goes out for lunch and leaves his assistant to tend the customers. An hour passes and he returns and sees a man sitting awkwardly. He asks his assistant about the man and his assistant told him the man came in with a bad cough and that he had given him a powerful laxative. The pharmacist yelled "laxatives aren't for coughs!" The assistant replied, oh yea? He hasn't coughed anymore, He's scared to.
I remember my first kiss.....
it was during recess, by the swings. Her name was Liz, she was in 4th grade. We were talking, I don't know what came over me, I grabbed her face and kissed her. It lasted about 10 seconds, we both awkwardly kissed each other, it took us both by surprise.
That night, it was all I could think about. Apparently, that night, she told her parents.
And that's why I can't teach in New York State anymore.
Jane is on her honeymoon with Tarzan.
He lays stiff in bed awkwardly staring at the roof of the treehouse. "Have you ever had sex?" She asks, he stands up and points out the window, "when Tarzan horny, Tarzan poke hole in tree."
She walks over to him and says "Just do the same, pretend i'm the tree." He nods, and swiftly kicks her between the legs. "WTF was that?" She shrieks in pain.. "Tarzan always check for squirrels"
A man walks into a bar with a Giraffe
They walk up to the bar and sit a bit awkwardly. The man orders two pints. One for him, one for the giraffe.
A few pints later, the man gets up to leave but the giraffe falls on the floor.
The man doesn't seem to notice and starts to head out the door.
The bartender yells after him "Hey you can't leave that lyin there!"
The man replies "That's no Lion! That's a Giraffe!"
You can explore awkwardly uncomfortable reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean awkwardly hesitantly dad jokes. There are also awkwardly puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
Today I walked up to some girls and asked if they liked guys with big dicks
They replied yeah.
I replied, "I'm sorry for wasting your time..." turned around and walked away awkwardly.
A pirate walks into McDonalds.
This pirate has a steering wheel between his legs, but doesn't seem to notice. As he places his order, the employee at the register keeps glancing at it awkwardly. Finally, as the pirate finishes ordering, the employee says "Sir, are you aware there's a steering wheel between your legs?" The pirate looks at it and goes "Yar. It be driving me nuts."
Little Johnny is at the zoo with his mom when they end up at the primate exhibit and witness two monkeys having sex
Johnny asks, "Mommy, what are those monkeys doing?"
His mom awkwardly responds "They're making a new baby monkey." and quickly rushes him off to another exhibit.
That night after they come home from the zoo, he hears noises from his parents room and opens the door to find them having sex. He starts cheering unexpectedly. His parents, bewildered, ask him what he's celebrating about. Little Johnny says, "We're getting a baby monkey!"
A well endowed woman was swimming at the beach when she lost her bikini top.
The woman awkwardly covered her chest and ran back towards the shore.
A little boy saw the woman and said, "If you're going to drown those puppies, can I at least keep the one with the cute little pink nose?"
My girlfriend walked in on me in the bathroom
My girlfriend walked in on me in the bathroom awkwardly holding her hair dryer turned on pointed at my crotch
Her - Uhhh hunny what are you doing
Warming up your dinner
Maybe the universe is like a giant party...
and the planets just awkwardly follow the sun around because they don't know anyone.
My friend just asked me what I wanted to eat...
I told him "I'm Craving Five Guys" and now he's awkwardly avoiding me.
Married in the arctic circle
After 30 years of unfulfilling matrimony a crotchety old Alaskan couple finally decide to seek marriage counseling.
Upon the first meeting with their therapist they both sit down awkwardly on the couch, and pull back their Anorak hoods only to realize that they've been married to the WRONG person for the past 30 years.
The wife sighs, looks at the doctor and exclaims "It's like I've been trying to tell him doctor, I'm just not that Inuit."
At the dance, Wood-Eye Pete stood awkwardly to the side
Deciding there wasn't much to lose he decided to ask Pudgie Peggy to dance.
"Would you care to dance?" He asked her, gamely.
With enthusiasm Pudgie Peggy eagerly expressed her delight almost yelling, Would I??!!
Pete blushed with shame and quickly defended himself yelling Well you're just a Fat Pig!"
before stomping out with a disgusted frown.
How does a chemist awkwardly leave?
OxygenPotassium Bismuth
A man is talking to his friend who has recently been diagnosed with cancer
Not knowing what to say he awkwardly asks him "how's the cancer?"
He replies "I dunno it's kinda growing on me"
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the awkwardly clumsy jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working awkwardly nervously piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.
Source: https://jokojokes.com/awkwardly-jokes.html
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